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I want you to know ...

What are these feelings that I've felt? Why it's so hurts when hurting you? Why? Why am I hurts so bad to see you hurts? Why am I crying right now? Why am I so weak right now? What have you done to me? What are we? What are these feelings? Can you answer me? I needed an answer. I need a clear answer that came out from your mouth. Who am I to you? Why did I seems really matter to you? Or am I the only one who felt like that? Am I clapping with my one hands? I miss you. I don't know why. But it seems I really fucking miss you. I felt like wan't to give you a hug. I needed that. I want to hug you so bad, a very comfy one, a very tight one, and I want to cry on your shoulder. Can I? Is it possible to happens? Too many question in my mind. I'm afraid. Yes I'm a coward. I'm afraid of rejection. I'm afraid that I was expecting too much. I'm afraid that I'll lose you. I'm afraid of falling. I don't want to lose you. You really matter to me. I care about you so much more than you can think. It's not something that I don't want to tell you. It's just something that I'm not ready to tell you yet. I need your time, your attention, I need you. It's not like you have to stick with me for the rest of the times, no. Just be there when I needed you. Just being there is more than enough. Please understands me. I need you to understands. I need you to give and takes. I need your shoulder as well. not just your ears that you've to lend for me. I'm afraid it wont be enough. I'm really sorry that I'd hurt you. I'm really sorry for making you feel bad. I'm so sorry for letting you down. If you can know how sorry I am. It's not what I wanted to be. I'm so sorry. I missed you. So bad.

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I'd notice about almost everything

You remember? When you ask me, what do I noticed about?
Here we go.
I noticed about almost every little thing of you, what you'd do.

I know, sushi's making you happy.
I know, being in a book store will calm you down when you're upset.
You're not so into sweet chocs.
You're more into a dark chocs.
You're someone workaholic.
You're someone who's not gonna giving in easily.
You're someone who won't get satisfied until you have what you seeks for.
Like a question.
As long the answer is not in your pocket, till then you're not will satisfied and wanted to know that answer so bad.
You're not someone that picky.
What in front of you, you'll grab it, as long you love it.
You loves veggies so much.
Especially onion.
You're not a horror movie film fans.
And... I'd do noticed.
Got one day in the train, when we sit,
You was looking at my hair.
I saw in on the mirror :3
Muehehe :'D

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What's happening now?

Oh, hi again! So rarely updating my blog. So sorry :(
I'm quite busy lately. With my real life.
Less with twittering, or what ever social networking.

Remember about the girl I used to story about?
My colleague? 
Yah, I used to crush on her.
And you know what? I've dated her out already.
I'm not really sure its a date or what.
We're going to catch some movies together.
And also.....
We've shared eating a cake together!
That's the prettiest part!
I meant, I really like her.
How I'm going to say to her?

Now, she lend me her Ipod.
I forgot to bring back my handsfree so she just lend me hers.
She said, she don't need music on weekend.
So I was like,, okay then!
So I borrowed her Ipod :3
I'm taking a driving license, must be super boring there.
That's why she lend me the Ipod.

We've exchanged some movies too! I meant a dvd.
Cute right? :D
I care about her. A LOT!
I really cared about her, too much much much more.
Everything she does matter to me.
Sometimes I'm getting jealous too.
And I don't know what's that for.

Hmm...I get butterflies,
I felt insecure when she's not around,
I felt curious for sometimes.
What does it means?
How its going to happen?

Am I the one who's feels like that?
I'm afraid. Really afraid.
I'm afraid of losing.
Especially her!
I dont know why! But I think, she's like my another half.
I feel so safe with her!
I'm felt so comfy when she was around.
I get used to talked with her every damn day!
If one day I'm not texting her..
It's like..... I don't know.
Something's not right when I don't talked with her even for one day.

How? What I'm going to do? What must I do about it?
Should I started?
I don't want be too early.
Should I wait?
I'm afraid it was too late.
So what should I do?! 

I'm afraid how's the end going to be.
Is it a happy ending for us? Or going to be something else?
I really don't want to lose her.
But...she with me...
We're different.
About our life style, about family, I dont know.
I think I must get knowing her closer.
How its going to be? I think it's going to be a bit complicated in future.

Am I thinking too much further? :(
What I supposed to do.
God, helped me with this.
If she's the one that I've waited for so long.
Then do not separate us. Ever!
I wanna grow up with her.
She's really someone understanding.
She's a good listener.
She looks perfect in my eyes.
Helped me.

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